Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
