when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
