Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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