this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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