i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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