Me. At least after what I've been through.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
