Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

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(404): View more from Georgia

we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it

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(479): View more from Arkansas

even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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(+61): View more from Australia

He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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(270): View more from Kentucky

We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?

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(347): View more from New York

She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.

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