My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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