we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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