i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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