I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
