1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
