Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
