Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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