Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
