we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You are the jesus of drinking
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
