i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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