She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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