If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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