Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
