i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
