I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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