I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
