I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
