Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
