I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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