He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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