Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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