I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
