So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
God, I missed his penis.
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