Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
