Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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