Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
