Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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