You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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