we're blogging at a bar
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
