Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
