She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
