Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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