At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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