Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
