Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
