I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My ass is underappreciated
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
