I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
