I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
