why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
