it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
