I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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