Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
