does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
